The Streets
Original Pirate Material
Vice/Atlantic
This I was looking forward to, a real pirate record at last. I’ve been telling people for years that pirates were going to be the next big thing. “In the not so distant future,” I told them, “you will see pirate rock bands, pirate reality television shows, and extreme pirate athletes, mark my words.” I predicted it would become very fashionable to be seen dressed as a pirate, even punk kids would show up for class in full pirate regalia—eye patches, high boots, parrots—sort of like Adam Ant except not so fruity. I knew things were falling into place this year when we experienced our first all pirate Super Bowl—the Raiders vs. the Buccaneers. And I was not surprised to come across this CD by The Streets called Original Pirate Material. I mean what represents the cutting edge of hipness more than a white rapper? You can imagine my disappointment when I finally unwrapped this CD and discovered that not only were there no pirates involved, but that it was just this one stupid English kid who looks like Bailey on Party of Five except his jeans are way tighter and he uh “raps” in a barely understandable accent about how much he drinks, why he likes himself so much, and what girls he wants to “pull” from the local pub. Now I’m not saying that these aren’t swashbuckling interests, but no self-respecting corsair would stroll about in a braided “friendship” bracelet and his locks plastered down with hair gel.